My name is Ashley Brownson, and I am 33 years old. My first encounter with drugs was smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol at age 16. At 18, I started abusing pain pills, Adderall and sleeping pills. When I was 21, I was introduced to cocaine, bath salts, and heroin, which I used all day… every day. Soon after, I began using needles to inject the drugs. I was no longer in control of my life …. the drugs were in control.
My drug use continued for the next 12 years. During that time, I overdosed 4 times, was homeless multiple times, lost all meaningful connections with my family and was repeatedly beaten by my drug addict boyfriend (sometimes to near death).
I attempted to get help multiple times and went 3 times to an inpatient rehab facility and numerous times at different outpatient facilities. The money for my addiction came from shoplifting and stealing from anyone I could…. including my family.
I was arrested 5 times, with the last arrest on April 1, 2019. That time, I spent 42 days in jail and I was 3 months pregnant. I was desperate for help and didn’t know where to turn. Above all, I did not want to lose my baby. My mom was my advocate and she found the Tides program.
The first time I met Debbie was when I was in jail. I was truly broken and ready to change. Looking back, I realize now that being pregnant and broken was exactly where I needed to be for Tides to help me change my life.
When I started the program, I was overwhelmed. I didn’t know if I could follow all the rules, stay clean and learn to be a good person – not to mention a good mom. My biggest challenge at Tides was learning to trust the staff and let my guard down. I also struggled with being accountable for my actions and living in such a structured environment.
At Tides, I was required to attend outpatient treatment, recovery meetings, church functions, counseling, and job training classes. Not too long after I came into the program, I broke the rules…not one rule but quite a few. I had several meetings with Debbie and although she was tough on me, she showed me a huge amount of love and understanding and did not judge me. This was a turning point for me. From that point on, I really started opening up to the Tides staff and their support changed my life. I was becoming the person I was always meant to be.
When my daughter Avery was born, I was terrified to leave the hospital with a newborn baby but I knew I was going home to a community of women who were like family to Avery and I. For quite a while after we left the hospital, I was still scared that I would not be good enough. But with the support of everyone at Tides, I was learning to be a confident and capable mom.
After Avery was born, I figured out that part of being in Tides meant learning how to be a functioning adult. Tides helped me stay focused on finding a job and budgeting money. The staff at Tides helped prepare me for my role as a single, working mom.
Since graduating from Tides Avery and I moved back home with my parents. I am working 4 days a week and saving most of my money except for our expenses. I am close to getting my driver’s license and a car of my own. My daughter just turned one and is happy, healthy and thriving.
Because of the guidance I received at Tides and being given one more chance, I have become a well-rounded adult and a loving, capable mom. Without Tides I would still be lost in addiction and I would not have my daughter here with me today.